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A ZOMBIE'S LAMENT

by Corry Lee Smith for Crash Boom Bang Theatre, Huntsville, AL

ACT I

Scene 1

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Okay, then.

********

OPTIONAL SONG "I'M ONLY HAPPY EATING BRAINS" SUNG BY ZOMBIE #1 AND ZOMBIE #2. AFTER SONG, THEY HIGH FIVE EACH OTHER, WITH MANNEQUIN HAND AND ARM, AND RETURN TO BENCH.

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My diet isn't very complicated
And Jenny Craig won't appreciate it
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I used to be in the foodie scene
Now your cerebellum fills my dreams
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I stumble through the night with no will
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Eating human brains
Goodness, how delicious
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I may be dead but I'm no fool
They say you kill the head and kill the ghoul
Well I don't think that is one bit cool
I'm only happy eating brains

Why did you have to be so unkind
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When I said I love you for your mind
I'm only happy eating brains

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********

LONG PAUSE.

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It won't be long now.

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I wonder what he looks like.

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I think we're about to find out.

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He's here. He did come!

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DELIVERY

I uh, have a large pepperoni for a Mister Zaambighmrr-ugh?

BRIEF PAUSE. DELIVERY PERSON PUTS PIZZA ON BENCH BETWEEN ZOMBIES AND BEGINS BACKING AWAY SLOWLY. SUDDENLY ZOMBIES ATTACK DELIVERY PERSON, EVENTUALLY MOVING OFFSTAGE.

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HARMAN BRRRAINS. Grrrr-agh!

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B-B-BRAINS!

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END

Copyright 2011 Corry Lee Smith.

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